Into fire you can send us From the fire we return
by Nebelsue
Summary: Shoto came for a training camp. He did not expect being kidnapped by the brother he believed to be dead.
1. The Day the World Went Away

Hello everyone!

This fic is already posted on AO3 under the name "Into fire you can send us/ From the fire we return" and I don't know why just keeps deleting slashs and comas?

FF. Net does not have a system of tags so **I warn you here this fic talks a little about** child abuse (but that's expected) **some Mental health issues and notably suicide.** It also contains light manga spoilers (Toga's quirk in C2). The triggering parts will be signaled before (there are none for the first 3 chapters)

Title is from the song "Violent Heart" from Nine Inch nails. As for now, fic is written until chapter 5 and this first chapter is just a prologue. Will be updated twice a month.

If you want to learn more about the "Dabi is a Todoroki" theory come her p:/ lingtosite. tumblr post /146032879059 / theory-dabi-is-todoroki-shoutos-older-brother (remove the spaces)

I'm not a native English speaker and I don't have any Beta so feel free to point out any mistakes:)

* * *

The world of Shoto has narrowed to the little blue stone that was falling thanks to Aoyama. _ _If I could just reach it, I could save Bakugo.__ Just a little more. He heard Shoji sighing of relief ; he managed to catch Tokoyami. Midoriya was behind because of his body failing him at the worst time. He was the only one able to save Bakugo.

But just at the moment where his hand caught the piece, a big hand covered in scars and burns ensnared him. He tried hard to escape this grip but the black-haired villain -don't look into his eyes don't- tried to force him to release Bakugo by twisting his hand. Shoto's other hand came to force the villain to leave him but a second burnt hand came to overpower him.

The other had more physical force and the UA student was losing. Midoriya was screaming in the background. He has to win for him for he was deeply indebted to him, for he was his friend, for losing "Kacchan" would be heartbreaking to him.  
"Dabi this little armwrestling is nice but could you just cut it off? I don't have much time left. " the villain who makes the portals asked impatiently.  
"Understood" The youngest Todoroki shivered ; like the eyes, the voice was too familiar. __It's impossible it can't be him. He's dead.__

Blue flames came directly out from Dabi's elbow. Shoto tried not to let Bakugo go but the heat was insufferable and he was not immune to someone else's Fire Quirk.  
"TODOROKI!" Midoriya and Shoji screamed. The villain moved his head and blue flames burnt them.  
" You don't gotta interfere in others' feuds." he muttered angrily. « And __you__ couldn't you just let it go? »  
Their eyes met and Shoto felt the urge to throw up. He could not pretend that the man before him did not have the eyes of his brother. But it was impossible. And even if it was him, he could not let his personal fears and feelings get in the way like at the Sport festival. He owes it to his teammate, Midoriya, Yaoyorozu and the others who gave all they got.  
"Dabi now we really must go. "a villain reminded.

The aforementioned narrowed his eyes and moved his hand. " Don't blame me for what happens next" he whispered. But instead of trying to force Shoto to let Bakugo go like he did before, he caught him by him arm and by his hair and dragged him into the portal. The youngest struggled kicked and tried to bite but the other was stronger even if he didn't use his fire anymore. He knew he was on the hit list according to the other strange villain, so it would be better not to be dragged. He wanted to live! He wanted to be able to talk to his mother and to make her proud, to read with his sister, to eat with his brother- the one who was alive and mostly well. He wanted to bring flowers to the grave of his dead brother. He wanted to become a great hero in public and in private and to fight again along Iida and Midoriya!

He was now completely in the portal and somehow Dabi managed to separate him from the blonde and to catch him by the neck.  
"Mr Compress please release them so that we could check. "  
The other mumbled something about his show being ruined and snapped his fingers. Bakugo appeared at the right of Dabi and Tokoyami fell down on Shoji.  
"Checkmate. " Dabi grinned while tightening his grip on the two students.  
" TODOROKI! KACCHAN! "  
"Stay back Deku. "The blonde mumbled, obviously scared.  
"NO!"  
"Don't follow us!" the red and white-haired screamed. __Better two deaths than three.__  
The last thing he heard before all went black was an inhuman scream of despair and Dabi whispering in his ear " _ _How noble from you Todoroki Shoto.__ But now it's time to sleep "


	2. You and me We're in this together now

Spoiler for Himiko's Quirk for anime-readers! Btw I love cliffhangers

* * *

When he woke up he was tightly tied by ropes. He heard Bakugo moving and screaming on his left but he couldn't see him since he was on his left side - after the incident with his mother his eye vision was severely damaged-. They seemed to be in a bar. The blonde psycopath and the really crazy man from earlier were here along with the magician, the black mist man and the blue-haired man from the attack on Yuei. Of course Dabi was here. Their eyes meet and Shoto lowered his gaze disturbed by the uncanny resemblance. There were ton of people with teal eyes and fire Quirks in Japan aren't there? Besides the hair doesn't match his brother has red hair. And he was dead.

"Ahem welcome aspiring heroes Katsuki Bakugou and Shoto Todoroki. Initially we meant just to capture Bakugou but Dabi took the initiative to abduct you Todoroki. Anyway don't do anything too stupid we don't want to kill you it would be such a waste! And you have nothing to fear since you're our guests" the blue-haired man spoke after presenting each villain by their aliases.  
" Eat shit and die " Bakugou replied. Todoroki grimaced they shouldn't get on the nerves of the man who seemed a little unstable.  
Unexpectedly the leader grinned.  
" We'll stalk about you later Bakugou but right now let's talk about Endeavor's son. "  
"Dabi could you explain what exactly were you thinking when you thought it was a great idea to kidnap the number 2's son? " Kurogiri asked while cleaning a glass  
" He did not want to release Bakugo. It was either this or killing him and I thought than taking him alive would be more useful to the cause. « Even the voice was the same but it couldn't be him!  
" And here I thought that you were one of the only sane men here " Kurogiri sighed.

A woman with violet hair who was not here just seconds ago entered the bar with quite a lot of noise « Anyway sorry to interrupt your lovely tea-meeting but Dabi told me that there was someone to heal. Who is this? "  
"Him mostly for burns but while you're at it you can heal everything " Dabi spoke while pointing at Shoto. It was true that his left arm has been a little burnt but Shoto did not worry about it since he could tell from years of « training » with Endeavor that this was only superficial.  
"Okay do you have the money? "  
Dabi sighed and threw a hundred-dollar bill at her. She just threw it in her pocket and came closer to Shoto.  
" I need to take him upstairs " she said while dragging him.

He was led to a white room which suspiciously looked like some infirmary and tied to a bed.  
"Why am I here? "  
" Dunno just ask that to Dabi. I'm not part of the League really I'm just in it for the money. And before you ask no I can't release you. They are my best clients right now they can kill me in one blind of a eye and it would absolutely not be a good idea for me to join the heroic side. But now undress yourself… I'm not going to do anything to you. My quirk allows me to accelerate cicatrization by hugging. The more we touch, the more it heals. Yeah it's weird it looks like a Free hugs sign at a Japan Expo but it's very efficient. " she ordered as she was taking her own clothes off.  
He obeyed but trembled a little when he showed his back. The mistreatment was mostly psychological not physical since Endeavor wouldn't want to hurt his masterpiece too badly and even since he started UA he went a little easier on him but on the day he lost to Bakugou his father got a little angry and the marks did not totally fade.  
" Oh that's a hefty lot of work and who the hell burnt you so much? Is this Dabi or your Quirk? " she wondered. He closed his eyes : the pity he felt in her voice would lead him nowhere.  
« Anyway that's not my business. » She said while hugging him. He watched as his arm went from a dark color to his porcelain skin.  
Shoto thought about the embrace of All Might at the Sport festival. God he hopes the others were okay. He hopes someone would rescue them fast. Someone who was not his father if possible but he would take even that.  
" My business here is done and crap Dabi owes me more money there was a lot of physical wounds to heal. " she said while dragging him back downstairs.  
While they were walking back he thought that he would probably not be killed since they actually spent money on him. It was a comforting thought but this doesn't explain why Dabi said to heal everything. He was certainly alluding to the other wounds he could have get in the forest but the Yuei student did not think it was that.  
Dabi could not be Ryudai. It was impossible. Ryudai was dead and even if he was alive he wouldn't be here. But then you never saw the corpse he thought. But the letter…

They were back to the bar room and the healer just came to Dabi and asked for more money. He complained without putting up a fight and under the hiss of Kurogiri who mumbled something which looked like « use your own money Dabi ».  
The atmosphere was rather tense. Bakugo has his habitual smug grin and the blue-haired man identified as Tomura seems to be in a state between pissed off and pleased. Guilt hit him when he was looking at the blonde. It was his fault that Bakugo was trapped here. How could he become the number 1 hero when he couldn't save his classmate?

" Ah now that you're back let's talk about you Todoroki Shoto. I assume that your father would want to save you. "  
Todoroki did not understand where the voice came from. He turned around to see that the voice emanated from a kind of TV was on.  
" indeed if we beat him and All Might in one round then nothing could stop us anymore but we have to be extra-careful " Tomura said while screeching his neck.  
" You had a great idea to kidnap him Dabi. "  
The other nodded in acknowledgement.  
" Dabi you're being awfully quiet today is everything alright? I like it when you're not blabbering for one " asked the one introduced as Twice.  
" I was just thinking that Himiko should get the blood of the two. Imagine if Endeavor was attacked by his son or if news spread that the youngest son of the Todoroki family has turned to villainy… It would have a devastating effect. "  
" I like when you're thinking like that Dabi ! " The schoolgirl exclaimed while holding a knife. Nobody should like that excited at the prospect of blood.  
" It »s a good idea surprising since it's coming from you " Tomura approved.  
The crazy girl took a step further and approached Bakugo first.  
" Go away from me you creepy bitch "  
" Oooh I really prefer Izuku-kun he is more polite than you. "  
« " If one had told me years ago that Deku would have seduced a girl… a mad villain while at it… the world is really crazy… Get off from me you fucking hag! " Bakugo struggled but ultimately Himiko won. Then she advanced towards Shoto.  
" You have pretty eyes Shoto. The left eye is just beautifully green like my dear Izuku 's " She said while pumping out his blood. Shoto has been at hospitals before but he has never had his blood taken so much and so fast when his last meal was more than one day ago. He was feeling not very well.  
" Half and Half bastard you're fawning just because of this? Wake up you weakling! " but Shoto knew deep down that Bakugo meant do not leave me alone.  
" Himiko take just the amount necessary " Dabi ordered while typing something on a phone.  
" Such a killjoy " She muttered but obeyed.  
" Tomura I think that now we could eat and then we could continue the meeting Mr Compress is starving Kurogiri " suggested.

Him and Bakugo were transferred and tied to a chair in a kind of living room. The others were actually cooking something which looks like meat if he could trust his nose.  
All the villains from earlier were here plus a few he did not recognize the healer too. Tomura and the one who looked like a lizard were playing Mario Kart and shouting thinks like « Fucking bananas »  
Shoto felt observed and his gaze meets Dabi's - Dabi Dabi Ryudai 's dead _who turned over quickly like he has been burnt.  
« Why is this freak so interested in you? « Bakugo muttered.  
" What do you mean? "  
« " They did not really need you for having Endeavor's attention the kidnapping of one Yuei student is enough. And while you were healed the others discussed about you. Some of them were in favor of killing you but he strongly advocated the contrary saying that you could be useful as a bait. But he could have the same result by err I don't know showing off your fucking body? I don 't get it. "  
" I don't know maybe he has something against Endeavor " . Shouto muttered. It was easy to forget but behind his hot-blooded and harsh temperament Bakugo was quite intelligent. He also obviously spied on his little conversation with Midoriya during the Sport festival ; he knew and he was one of the only ones along with Midoriya, his mother, Fuyumi and his two brothers. He hoped Fuyumi and Kazeiko were okay without him at the estate.  
The food arrived before he could continue on this unpleasant trail of thoughts.  
The meal was surprisingly very animated not unlike like the meals he shared at the Yuei cafeteria.

The blonde girl and the violet-haired healer were arguing about something in relation with blood and Shouto decided it was best not to hear it. The one who seemed to be the leader was playing all alone a game with a character in green clothes. He sometimes talked with Kurogiri but it was never more than a few sentences. On the other side Kurogiri talked to everybody but mostly with who was doing some card tricks with Magne. Dabi and the lizard Spinner were having an animated conversation even if Spinner was doing the most the conversation.  
" Maan I hope we could free Stain-sama one day so that he could guide us and help us clean this world " Spinner said.  
" That would be hard since the prison he's in is very well guarded. " Dabi murmured  
" I know… The best we can do until a good occasion comes is to keep up his ideology and to kill the fake heroes. Last day I saw one on the streets. First she refused to help a homeless teenager to have some food. I helped him and continued my route. Then I saw her helping a rich girl and then she paraded in interviews presenting herself as a altruist person who chose the job to help the people. People like this deserve to die! "  
" Lot of people are in it for the money and fame and nothing else. Some brag about being heroic but drop the act when the cameras turn off. I will clean this world " Dabi said his eyes trailing over Shoto who was thinking about his father playing the devoted husband and father just hours after slapping his mother so hard she bled.

Shoto spent the meal thinking about his house- not his home it would never be his home until he dies-. He wondered if someone told his mother he had been kidnapped. He wondered if Endeavor threw a tantrum while learning the news and he hopes Fuyumi hadn't been targeted. He was a little concerned for Kazeiko but he did not live at home anymore so he was less in danger. Kazeiko the eldest was quirkless and Endeavor looked down on him for it while Shoto had been jealous of him when he was younger. But he was bright very bright and Shoto knows that he is a brillant scientist . His father never did let him speak too much to his brothers. Fuyumi was only allowed because his father believed in the bullshit of needing « one male and one female presence in the house » and well since the residential Todoroki female was at the hospital.,,

There was another brother Ryudai who was born between Fuyumi and Shoto. But while they were the closer in terms of age, Shoto did not remember much of him since one day he… just disappeared. He did not want to reflect upon this, upon this day he wanted to forget. This was nearly worse than thinking about the time he got his scar.  
Dabi suddenly stopped talking, stood up, came to Shoto and grabbed his hair forcing him upstairs.  
Dabi yanked tightly Shoto and it hurts but he wasn't exactly in position of protesting. Bakugou was screaming « Leave this bastard be you son of a bitch! ».  
" What exactly are you thinking Dabi? What are you gonna do with him? " Kurogiri asked with concern in his voice.  
" Not killing him I know he's more useful alive than dead so don't worry about it. " Dabi answered. Shouto could see that the green eyes were unfocused but as soon as the elder looked at him again, his gaze hardened. Shoto suppressed a shiver… This gaze… it was filled with anger, something which looks like fear and lust of killing.  
This looks a little like the gaze his mother had seconds before boiling him he thought while shaking out of fear.

* * *

About the names of Shouto's brothers:  
Kazeiko : eiko = glory and kazuo = first (first child). He's the one with white hair we saw in Shouto"s flashback.  
Ryudai/Dabi = Ryu = the dragon and dai= big  
I don't speak Japanese wikipedia helped me a lot lol.  
The healer and her Quirk belong to my imagination.


	3. You can try to hide it

(IN THIS NOTE I WILL TAKE ABOUT 187!)  
So Kōhei Horikoshi gave us the name of white-haired brother... This chapter and the next were already written. I think I will maybe change all the names once Dabi's real name is revealed.

* * *

They went upstairs to a bathroom. Shouto understood nothing. First he kidnapped him, than he paid someone to heal him and now he's furious even when Shouto had been obedient? This doesn't make any sense. Hell even Endeavor's behavior was more logical. He was powerless he could do nothing to stop it  
" Kneel down here and don't try anything funny. " He's gone insane and he's gonna kill me. Shoto obeyed but Dabi must have sensed the fear in his eyes because the tallest added.  
" Relax repeat I'm not gonna kill you. "  
He was meant to relax while being kidnapped by a moody villain? Best news of the year.  
"Black or white? "  
What kind of question was it? It looked like a shitty heroic movie from the pre-Quirk period where the villain asks false deep questions that left the hero some time to form a battle plan. Or was this a reference to a chess play?  
" White " He answered hoping it was the right answer.  
" That's cool it would make me half less work. "  
Then why did he ask me if he preferred an option?  
"Put it " Dabi holding him an eyepatch.  
Shoto looked at him dumbly. Why should he pose as a pirate?  
"It's for the scar on your left side dumbhead since I will use products that could be dangerous for your fragile skin you know "  
The ice user felt very stupid right now but how could have he guessed? He obeyed silently while Dabi fumbled to find something in the closet. And products? What was he doing?

"Got it " He said while putting a napkin around his shoulders. He yanked Shoto 's hair down so that his neck was resting on a kind of basin like one you could find at a hairdresser. Yes that makes sense it would be dumb for the League of Villains to be caught on the way to the hairdresser. Wait does that mean that Dabi was going to cut his hair? He would rather not let such a moody person near a pair of scissors thank you.  
Dabi opened the water and Shoto grimaced. Most people think that his quirk was really cool but there were some big problems : 1 it was the result of a dysfunctional family (and the most dysfunctional member is washing right now your hair the little voice said. No no Dabi isn't Ryudai it's impossible) 2 When you were having a haircut the water was always too hot for one side and too cool for another. Really he seriously thought using old man's money to pay Yaoyoruzu to make a tap with water that could adapt to his quirk but of course he got kidnapped before. But right now he just had to overcome it.

Dabi then stopped the water and proceeds to wash carefully the hair. It was strangely relaxing and Shouto noticed distractedly that the shampoo was the same he used. That was creepy as hell to know that villains use the same beauty products as him. Next he rinsed the hair and put a box down on Shoto right side. It read "White hair coloration "

When he woke up earlier this morning (or was it yesterday, ? ) Shoto expected many things of this day but not getting a hair coloration from a moody villain who was putting the product carefully. Was he supposed to make small take like at a normal hairdresser? He hoped not because he hated it and what the hell could they be talking about? How to keep your skin hydrated despite having a Fire Quirk? He laughed hysterically at it : it has been a long day and one of the worst days in his existence. His existence was truly shitty because yes he had days far worse than this.  
" Stop laughing you runt or else your hair would be ruined. Why are you so moody? "  
Him moody? The worse was that it was coming from Mr I-kidnap-you-and-then-am-angry-about-it and also I-paid-to-heal-you but-am-looking-at-you-with-killer-intent.  
" I had a long day you know. Getting kidnapped can be a little tiring.". He was stupid really and he did not mean to say it loud. Sometimes he talked back to Endeavor who sometimes beat him and belittle him but that was the everyday and he knew Endeavor needed him. Dabi would not take this lightly. And God he did not think this was the right time for him to develop a sense of irony among all things!

He heard something which looks suspiciously like a laugh.  
"Ah I did not know you were funny Shoto. But even if I really don't mind please stop that for the moment I want your hair to be perfect. You will have all your hair in white. White's better than red I hate red hair. " He said his expression changing back to something close to anger. Shoto shivered this expression reminded him again of his mother just seconds before she burnt him.  
They heard steps going up the stairs.

" Dabi is everything alright? Not of course none of this is alright why would the aloof and cold-headed Dabi brutalize a hostage he captured himself and then laugh? "  
"Don't worry Twice I -m just doing a little of hair coloring. If we need to move them you know… "  
" Are you kidding me? " Twice said but they heard the steps going away. Dabi's answer has been enough.  
" Oh god now I need to color the hair of Explodo boy. Shit. I think it would be funny to make him pink hair. So manly. "

If he did not color his hair for discretion then why? It doesn't make sense except if he is your brother and hate to see the side reminding him of father,he thought Besides Kazeiko also has red streaks in his hair and he bleaches it.  
" Anyway Twice must have been quite shocked if his two sides spoke in unison. " Shoto really resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  
"No you stay still a little I have finished to color your hair. Look at you "  
Shoto gasped. He knows he took after his mother but with his hair completely white it was even more apparent. The color was well made and he couldn't distinguish between the natural and the bleached (even if it was hard with his almost-blind left eye).  
" Perfect. White really suits you better. I never realized you looked so much like her… "  
Shoto knew who he meant by her. He was not stupid there were too much things for the resemblance between Dabi and him to be just a mere coincidence. The Fire quirk, the same eyes, similar ways of fighting, the use of surname…. But to say it out loud would be a step he doesn't want to take.  
And even if Dabi were Ryudai it would only complicate things. He kidnaped him and Bakugo he helps villains… At the very least he is a delinquent. Besides he could not forget this killer gaze from earlier.  
Dabi removed the eyepatch and Shoto saw something in his eyes. It was not the usual pity it was comprehension. "Shit it still did not heal… it must have hurt a lot " he said his fingers lingering near Shoto's scar  
Shouto did not answer because yes the sensation of burning hurt a lot but the worse was the realization that his father destroyed his mother to the point she would attempt to maim him and that there were no coming back from this. Instead he just touched delicately the burnt part of Dabi's arm and traveled further to the direction of the torso.  
The skin was badly burnt and Shoto felt like it could turn to dust at any moment. Dabi stopped him when the hand went too close to his torso to his liking.  
"I hate him. Our father. " He said and did not miss the way Dabi's or rather Ryudai's mouth twitched. " What happened to you Ryudai? "

"Lots of bad things and some good things if I had to sum up little brother Shoto. "

They stayed like that for a moment eyeing each other without daring to speak. Hundreds of questions were floating in Shouto's head. Who burnt him? Were their others siblings aware? Why did he join the League? Why did he kidnap him? Why did he leave them? Why Why?  
He did not dare to talk afraid of what he'll found out.

Dabi gestured for him to come downstairs and he obeyed silently. He remarked he was trembling like a leaf and Dabi's usual cool expression was crumbling. Just before they come back in the room Dabi paused and whispered in his ear  
"They don't know our relationship for now except maybe Sensei. I plan to reveal eventually everything but until then, keep our secret".  
He nodded in approval. This seems dangerous to hide information like that but he didn't have a choice. This remembered him something blurry and away. When he was little he was on a even stricter diet but Ryudai used to snuck him some candies. He had to eat it one by one in order not to let his father notice and eating a whole paquet took him weeks. On very rare occasions when Endeavor was away for a couple of days; the whole family gathered in the living room and ate a good cake and Ryudai the one leading all of this was always saying « keep our secret »

Together, they entered the room.  
" What the hell happened Dabi? "  
" Why the fuck do you have white hair half and half bastard? "  
"I took the initiative to color his hair because he is too much recognizable. I would do the same for Bakugo "  
" Over my dead body! "  
"A hood would have been enough. " Mr Compress remarked while sipping his tea.  
" No. "  
The room became silent.  
" Whatever. But don't color young Bakugo's hair. I feel like he wouldn't appreciate it " Tomura shrugged.  
With this silent approval from the boss, the conversations resumed to normal but Shouto did not listened. His brother disappeared for years, had became a villain. If his father knew he would kill him. But if they were freed by someone- because someone has to free them right- what would he say? Staying silent was putting others to danger. Telling the truth was exposing his brother to danger and it would make Endeavor mad and a mad Endeavor was a bad thing. But his brother did expose him to danger by kidnapping him.  
He sighed. He must stay focused and hoping and doing everything for him to Bakugo to find a way out. Then he could take care of this problem.

When he came out of his thoughts the meal has ended him and Bakugo were all alone with Spinner who seemed more interested by his video games than them.  
Bakugo looked at him. Shouto was used to the hateful gazes from him. He did nothing to help his cause : he was more powerful than him and worst still he refused using his fire side against him while he agreed to use him on Midoriya. The only thing bigger than Bakugo's desire to win was his pride and he hurt both.  
Honestly he would have preferred to be stuck with someone else.

" I don't know for you Half-and-Half but I don't plan to stick forever I got better things to do with my time. Just watch me when I got out. Did you know what was going on while you were going to the hairdresser? " Katsuki whispered. Shoto tensed but Snipper was way too absorbed in his game and was just peeping at them from time to time.  
It's true that Bakugo was staying with the villain during the haircut. He felt ashamed about not caring about his classmate and about what has been said.  
" They tried to play nice with me. They kept asking some questions like Why did you enroll into UA? What do you think about Stain? How do you want to use your quirk? . It was really weird but I learnt that I am valuable for them because they listened with grand attention to me and they offered me cookies. "  
" Maybe they want you to join them." Shoto's heart was beating faster. He really hoped that Bakugo no matter insufferable he may be , would not cede to the siren's call. He was perceptive, intelligent and powerful and it was better to have him on the hero side. Moreover it would hurt Kirishima who was quite a nice guy Kaminari and Ashido and of course Midoriya even if he has a fucked up relationship with Bakugo that Shouto couldn't understand and it was not for lack of trying. But he hardly saw Bakugo always prideful and determined to be the number one ready to submit to the orders of Shigaraki.  
" Yeah that's what I thought. but they lose their time because no way am I going to join them. I wonder if they want you to join as well? the son of Endeavor joining the league… they would lose their shit"  
Two days ago Shoto would have laughed at the prospect that the League of Villains would want him but things changed quite fast.  
" Moreover you could have your reasons with what's going on with Endeavor. "  
He shot Bakugo a cold gaze.  
"I would never join them I disapprove with their violent ways and all I ever want is to be a hero. " He protested.  
" It was just a hypothesis. Honestly the thing with your father and your mother would have swayed everyone dumbshit. Besides you're a little cold, do not have any relationships and it would be a great way to get revenge"  
Ahhh if Bakugou knew how he was right.  
It was strange ; it was the second time he talked about it with someone who was almost a stranger. Everything was different with Midoriya it was fluid to speak it out loud it was like opening a barrage. Shoto felt better after this conversation and this fight he haven't felt this way since before his mom boiled him.  
" How do you know? "  
" I eavesdropped on you and Deku at the Sport festivals. "  
Todoroki rolled his eyes. So much for discretion  
" And also while you were sleeping I heard Mr Compress and Himiko speaking about a mole at UA… "  
" A mole?"» that would explain a lot of things and it was believable ; the location of the training camp was a mystery. The images of his classmates flashed before his eyes. which one?  
He could safely say that Midoriya was not the mole but the others? They were not safe.  
" But why did he color your hair really? And don't answer me bullshit. "  
" I don't know he is very moody. Remember they were ordered to kill me but he kidnapped me instead and brought me there. " Shoto answered hoping that he sounded honest.  
He couldn't hide the truth forever he know but he had to try... He just had to buy time. He just needed time to think

They stayed in silence : Bakugo was thinking of a plan to escape and swearing and Shouto was trying hard not to think about his childhood until the other villains came were accompanied by a man one with grey hair seemingly in his fifties and smoking and a blonde European-looking man in his mid-thirties.

" Honestly I could't believe you were able to do this… " The older said.  
" It's the product of a great teamwork and of a good plan. It's only a step and we will do better next time. " Kurogiri said  
Katsuki and Shoto tensed. Next time?  
" I don't doubt it. The one on the right is Endeavor's son right? - Kurogiri nodded.- Can I borrow him? I will pay you good really good and I can also exchange him against the one with the Quirk related to sickness whose we spoke last day. One of my clients has a old grudge against Endeavor… " the smoker said while pointing at the blonde whose eyes were fixated on Shoto.  
Shoto felt uncomfortable. Why would he have to pay for his father? He did not want to go there. At least the world knows he was with the League and as egoistical as it seems he had at least an ally in the person of Bakugou and Ryudai was there.  
" This seems like a good deal but " Shiragaki began.  
" No. " Dabi said.  
" Do not speak out of turn and don't act as if you were the leader!" Shigaraki said  
" No. You know better than to struck this deal. He's more useful here than this guy with the sickness Quirk. "  
" I am the boss here and you are just a support character Dabi! "  
" The supporter character will get the fuck out of this hellhole if you sell him. I need him… to follow Stain's ideals. "  
" Stain, Stain you all speak of him and it's pissing me off. "  
" We've already had this conversation Tomura " Kurogiri said while he was scratching his neck.  
The blonde man took a step forward towards Shoto held a hair lock and twisted it.  
" Son of Endeavor". he said with a thick Russian accent. "Got a thing to settle with your father this son of a bitch was the one to understand that I've killed my whore of a wife -Shoto remembered vaguely this affair, his father parading at TV saying women should be respected and how he felt numb and angry and sick sick at the same time- and I spent 10 years of prison for it . I wonder…"  
Shoto felt a all-too familiar smell : the smell of burnt human flesh. he has heard people saying it smelt like bacon but the odor was impossible to describe.

On the other side of the man screaming stood Dabi with flames erupting out of his middle finger. The burns seem to be superficial but they were well-placed to know it still hurt like hell. Dabi's eyes were erratic and the pupils danced from one side of the room to another. He turned around and his eyes faced Shoto's who was deeply disturbed. He saw too much of Endeavor in Dabi's eyes too much the desire to crush.  
" I will say it only once; he and his father are my preys and no one else's not even Stain's or you Shigaraki's. No one meddles in this. " he said while physically interposing between Todoroki and the man. He was so close Shoto was sure he could hear his erratic heartbeat.  
" Dabi could you please refrain from almost killing the business partners of our business partners " Kurogiri sighed breaking the silence.  
" I don't want to heal that for free because of your stupidity Dabi " The healer said.  
" Dabi what are you doing? " Mr Compress asked.  
The blonde man left not before addressing a middle finger at Dabi followed by the elder and the healer.  
" What the hell was that Dabi? You are the sanest person I know " Twice said.  
"I'm going to my room " the center of attention grumbled. Shoto was strongly reminded that at home he often fled to his room when the conversations did not turn up as he liked.

" I don't know what you and your father did to Dabi but it must have been pretty nasty. " Magne remarks.  
" I've never seen him in this state… so fixated on something… and so moody!" Mr Compress mumbled. " He's almost as fixated on the Todoroki as you are on Midoriya and All Might Shigaraki… Whatever this is , it clouds his judgement. He must get himself together fast. "  
" This look he gave you right now… If looks could kill you would be dead " Bakugo whispered.  
" I'll talk to him later " Shigaraki said extending his hand. Shoto looked at the fingers remembering what Aizawa said If he touches you with all his fingers you will be turned to dust.

Shoto did not want Ryudai to die not when he just found him again after believing he was dead for years.… But Dabi spoke of him as his prey so he surely wants to kill him right? But why didn't he kill him back then?  
Maybe he wants to do it in front of Endeavor he realizes. Maybe he wants him to watch as the defect kills the masterpiece. Shoto did not have any delusions ; the only thing his father loves is victory and Shoto is a possibility of victory,

He emerged from his thoughts to see Bakugo staring at him like a second head has grown.  
" What? " He snapped. He was really not in the mood to deal with Bakugo right now and the guilt. He has let the other down twice : at the Sport festival and when he did not managed to save themselves in the forest.  
" Nothing. I wondered… Lemme think. "  
Shoto shook his head. Bakugo was absolutely not understandable quite like his brother.


	4. twenty-six years on my way to hell

So this chapter is a little short but the other one is more than 4K! No update for the next two weeks I won't have any access to a computer

WARNING _ **: depiction of a suicide attempt/mental breakdown**_. This part starts from **One day… I ran away without taking everything** toi **nstead. Then a lot of other things happened**

* * *

Shoto slept five hours but it was not a peaceful sleep. He dreamt of kettles, Kazeiko and Fuyumi crying while reading a letter and three children playing soccer. When he woke up he was faced with golden eyes.

« You're kinda pretty Todoroki-kuuun not as much as Izuku-kun but if I touch you Dabi would surely throw a tantrum. He's so moody these days. Besides I've only had eyes for Izuku-kun these days!

-If I was told that a girl would be interested in this fucking nerd….A villain moreover.

Don't touch me hag!

\- Don't speak ill of Izuku-kun!

The door banged revealing Dabi. His eyes were clearly avoiding Shoto.

« Hello Dabi! How are you? »

« Fine « He mumbled but Shoto could clearly see that he was struggling to stay awake. Someone else has not got any good sleep apparently. If he still had skin under his eyes, he would surely have seen dark rings.

Dabi made his way towards the bar counter which served also as a kitchen and began frying eggs and making coffee. Shoto did not get very often to have meals with him after the appearance of his quirk but he remembered that he ate for five people and liked his eggs almost burnt while Kazeiko ate almost nothing and Fuyumi took after their mother and ate anything with sugar and Nocilla. Of course his father did not eat with them or else he wouldn't have those few happy memories before all went down.

« Dabi! Could you make me a cup of hot chocolate? » Himiko chirped.

« A cup of green tea for me please! » Mr Compress asked . He was browsing through the newspapers and Shoto could see that UA was on the front page.

« Fine but you're going to take it yourself. » the fire-Quirk user grumbled while putting the machine on.

The scene was very domestic… almost mundane. Shoto was not sure what he expected from the League of villains but it was not this. How long did Ryudai plan to join them? Was it after he fled the house or before? Was the hospitalization of their mother the breaking point or did he plan to leave before? And the ugliest question : he seems to have a grudge against Endeavor and him but does it extend to the other siblings? Were they safe? He thought of Fuyumi the one he was the closest to and of Kazeiko the one Endeavor maybe despised the most. He truly hoped they were OK.

One by one the members of the League came and breakfasted while the prisoners were trying to ignore their stomachs growling.

« We need to feed them » Kurogiri remarked while cleaning glasses. Nobody moved.

« I'm absolutely not getting near them. Fire and explosive sweat… not a good match» Dabi murmured as Bakugo was clenching his fists

Finally M. Compress sacrificed himself and cautiously feed them some eggs and cereals but Bakugou managed to bite him.

The villain then turned to Todoroki who followed the orders without complaining. He thought that Endeavor would never let him cereals for it was « unhealthy » and asked for more. It tasted good.

« UA has announced they will make a press conference tomorrow. I'm curious to hear how they justify it. »Shigaraki said while checking his phone his meal left untouched.

« This would be fun… a group of ten villains snatching under their very eyes one pro-hero and two students » Mr Compass remarked.

Bakugo and Todoroki looked at each other. One pro-hero kidnapped? Was it Aizawa-sensei?

« We landed a very big hit. » Dabi remarked eerily and grinning widely.

« It was good work and a big step towards our goal » Kurogiri agreed.

« Maybe we could celebrate it since yesterday we were too tired. I don't want to celebrate anything with you assholes! » Twice said.

« As long as you don't ruin the bar… » Kurogiri sighed.

« Yeah a party. Mary don't you want us to have a sleepover like good friends? » Himiko asked to the healer.

« Why not… »

« Let's put our guests upstairs I don't think they would be too pleased to have noise with you » Kurogiri concluded. How considerate of him Shoto thought while rolling his eyes.

Bakugo and him were put in two separate rooms. He was put on a bed and Twice forced him to smell a tissue with chloroform.

He dreamt of his family. They were playing football without him and Ryudai was falling and the others laughing. his mother was smiling and Enji was nowhere to be seen.

« Come on Shoto don't you want to play with us? « Ryudai added. His face was blurry it has been a long time since Shoto saw him last before he was burnt and he was ashamed to say he did not remember it entirely. The fact that nearly all pictures of him were banned from the house did not help.

He accepted with enthusiasm and the other's face contorted. Instead of Ryudai stood Dabi. And on his left there were Midoriya and Shoji screaming because of blue flames.

« How noble from you my prey. Wake up Shoto wake up»

He woke up and Dabi was sitting near him cigarette between his lips and a bottle of beer in his left hand. How long had he been staying there?

« You were visibly having a nightmare so I took the liberty to wake you up » he said.

They stayed like that in silence before Dabi shrugged off and pointed at his beer.

« You want to drink?»

He accepted caught the bottle and began to drink it. Dabi stopped him before he could finish it in one shot.

« Not too much Shoto you're still a minor aren't ya?. » and Shoto could feel the alcohol and tobacco on his breath and see the clumsy way he was standing. And were his pupils dilated?

Dabi laid on the bed mumbling something about the walls moving. He was visibly not worried about Shoto and he was right because Shoto still had anti-Quirk shackles

« So… are we going to act like nothing happened? » He said. Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in, the fear and the anger who was making him acting so recklessly but he did not care. « Where were you? Who did **that** to you? We thought you were dead, Why did you leave this letter "I'll be gone don't look for me take care of yourselves dear siblings? »

« Myself » He slurred alcohol visibly affecting his elocution.

The white-haired man stayed silent. One of Endeavor 's sidekick tracked his brother down. They found his footsteps near the lake and one lady living near it reported that she saw a boy matching the description standing near the lake. Endeavor commenting on his weakness and that he has been weak from his very birth and Kazeiko angry - the one time Shoto saw him truly angry. They thought he had dived

 **"One day… I ran away without taking everything**. I did not go to a ho-hospital or to seek help for us but to the cliff because I am a coward. I don't think you know that feeling when you walk across a bridge you see the water down and you think it would be better for yourself and everyone to jump? You think that anything and even nothingness would be better than this life ; you just want a way out because death has to be better than the life you lead. I had to take at one point karaté lessons which I hated at the other end of the town and I asked the driver to change the road because we drove near a railroad and I itched to just lay down and let the train ran across me.

This day I went near the cliff just across the lake I don't know if you remember… but a little while before you got your quirk we used to play together there. I sat down my foot just on the edge of the death. I did not know what to do. I was angry and I wanted to d-die. This was too much. I hesitated between jumping and fleeing but jumping has my preference. Then I saw my reflection on a puddle of water. I remembered spitting on my reflection out of hatred and I remember my desire to disappear out of this earth, my desire to destroy everything in relation to this man. Ya know I used to be the one closer to Endeavor in terms of looks and Quirk? I was not blind I know that Mother mistook me for him several times. I don't remember how exactly it played out - a few seconds are missing from my mind- but I remember seeing myself falling in flames and drowning in the river. I felt the air going through my lungs and I was happy to see that I could not breath. But some part of me still did not want to die. I must have been a funny sight back then because one second I swam and one second after I was trying to force my head underwater.

When I emerged of the river I was another person. Ryudai was dead and Dabi was born. A fisher rescued me and took me to the nearest hospital which tried to save what could be saved. At one point I saw myself in the mirror. I did not burn the skin under my eyes at this time. I thought seriously of finishing the work and burning or gouging my eyes out but I thought I would need them for later so I put fire to the skin under **instead. Then a lot of other things happened»**

…

Shoto has his eyes wide open. he expected something horrible but reality was somehow far worse than his nightmares. His brother tried to kill himself and put himself on fire while enduring a mental breakdown . Guilt creeped through him : he was eight when Ryudai who was fifteen at this time disappeared he should have done something. He should have seen something. How could he hope to save people when he has been unable to save his brother?

« But enough talking about me. I have a lot of questions for you as well»

« I…I » Shoto did not know how to say it. When he was with his mother he was assaulted with guilt and the same feeling was running through him.

« I m sorry. » Even if I could do nothing.

He thought that Dabi was too much his mother's son, too unstable. He needs help. He had to get out to help him.

« There was nothing you could have done. » He said while absently staring at the ceiling.

They finished another bootle of booze in silence. Sweet sibling bonding time. Endeavor rarely drinks and looked down on drinkers because for him drinking is a sign of weakness, Shoto remembered. He shivered at the thought of a alcoholic Endeavor. Maybe he would have been more violent. Maybe the alcohol would have forced him to sleep.

« I saw you at the Sport festivals. »

« On TV? »

« Nah I bough a ticket for the tournament. The old scum must have been pissed that you did not make it to the top. » Shoto realized with horror that Ryudai was not joking. UA really needed to reinforce the security. He must have said it aloud because the black-haired man said:

« I was not a member of the League back then but yeah your security is really crappy. Eraserhead is quite good but it was almost too easy to take you. But I wonder why did you use… why are you crying? »

Tears rolled down Shoto's cheeks. For years he thought he was dead. And he was alive. He was alive. He tried to kill himself but whatever lays in the skies saved him.

« I'm so glad you''re here and alive. » He managed to crack out. He must have seemed weak- heroes don't cry - but he doesn't care. This was his brother the one who saw him throwing up and crying after training sessions.

Honestly it felt good crying. It has been years and he has the impression to be numb to everything to live in a cotton bubble. The harsh words of Endeavor did not get to him, the screams of Kazeiko and cries of rage of Fuyumi also did not get to him. He has rarely cried since his mother got sent away and had not shed a tear at all since his brother's disappearance and since then he sunk down deeper and deeper. The only thing he felt was anger. He got better since he got into UA and mostly since his fight with Midoriya - I did not nearly thank him enough- but this…

« Oh brother of mine» Dabi wobbled, his fingers nearly trailing over Shoto's cheek. «. Trust me great things are coming ahead for _us._ »

Before Dabi could elaborate more he stood up and ran to the bathroom. Shoto heard the familiar sound of someone throwing up. Dabi came back later visibly disheveled

« Seemed like I drank too much. Well it's my eighth bootle so why am I surprised? »He said to no one while hobbling out of the room and leaving Shoto alone one time again.


End file.
